Six Years None The Richer

Previously on Is Making Foreigner Show:

Foreigner making drive no license

Foreigner taking drive test

Foreigner showing make bad is driver test


There are two ways to drive legally in this country. You can have citizen identification, which I will never have, or you can have alien resident identification, which I have. Both types have to bring their identification and take a joke of a written and driving test. Citizens renew their license every six years. Alien residents have to renew theirs whenever they renew their alien residency; typically every year. The tests and fees are the same for everyone, but foreigners have to pay six times as often. If a foreigner’s license expires, he has to pay for and take all of the tests over again. If a citizen’s license expires, he simply pays an extra fee.

The standard procedure for renewing my alien residency is to do everything at the last minute. This is because everything can only be done within a certain time frame and, more often than not, the owner of my school likes to do everything at the last minute. She is the only one who can initiate proceedings. She sends forms to the government, they send forms back to her, she gives me one of those forms which I take to another government office, they give me another form to give to her which she sends to the government, they give her another form which she gives to me and I take back to the government office I went to earlier, I give them money and they give me a receipt. About a week later I can go back to that office and pick up my new identification card. It is that simple.

Renewing my driver’s license can only be done after I have the new identification card. There were several times before I had the license that I got the new card after the old one had expired. No one particularly cares if it is expired as long as the paperwork started making the rounds before it expired. Once or twice the old one expired before the paperwork for the new one went anywhere and I had to go to Hong Kong to get a visa in order to get the visa that I was waiting to get. This is all rather annoying in the beginning, but eventually you get used to it. There simply is no simple way to get things done around here.

The trouble began when I got a driver’s license. Now if anything expires, I have to take all of those driving tests again, and that is not something I want to do. I barely understood the written test, and I only passed the vision test because the clerk in charge could not have cared less. Not that my eyesight is that bad, but the vision test has nothing to do with vision.

This year, the owner of the school decided to wait until the last minute to send the initial paperwork to the government, as is her custom. She also forgot to include an important form, and it took some time for the government to let her know. She has only been doing this for five years, and apparently it takes longer than that to figure out how to do the same thing every year. After several weeks of several forms changing hands, I finally got the form that I take in to get the card that I need to renew my license. My alien residency expired the next day. This did not affect my legal residency in this country because most of the paperwork had already gone through. But since it usually takes about a week between taking the form to the government office and getting the card, there was no way in hell I would have the new card before my license expired.

Ordinarily, I take the form to the government office, go back in a week and get my new card and take that new card to renew my driver’s license. Since my driver’s license was due to expire the next day, this was not an option. So I took the form I usually take to the government office to the DMV, which is not called the DMV around here. This form basically says that all systems are go and tells the office that gives me my new card to give me my new card. There was no reason for me to believe that the people at the DMV would have any idea what this form was. But it clearly stated in Chinese that I was allowed a new card, and the people at the DMV supposedly know that having a new card is what allows me to renew the license.

Coincidentally, I have gone to the same clerk at the DMV every time I have renewed my license. I thought that since he recognized me and I recognized him, it might help. Rules at government offices are generally followed according to the clerk’s whim at any given time. Having at least some kind of relationship greatly helps.

He was not there. Instead, there was a woman who would have fit in perfectly at any American DMV. I could not decide if she was Patty or Selma.

She spoke no English and automatically assumed that I speak no Chinese, as happens pretty much all the time. While waiting for her supervisor, I wondered how I was going to talk the supervisor into renewing my license even though I had an almost expired alien resident card. My initial plan was to talk to the same guy I always saw and convince him that doing what I wanted was the way to go. Supervisors are generally less friendly around here, and more likely to follow the rules.

When the supervisor arrived, I showed her my form, explained what it was and told her that I would have the new card in about a week. I wanted her to renew my license or at least put some kind of temporary stamp on it and let me come back when I have the new card. She said that they did not do that. I knew she was going to say that. No one ever wants to do anything that has not already been done. These are not adventurous people. The Chinese did not send a person into space until 2003.

Following the logic that everyone does the same thing as everyone else, I asked her why foreigners have to renew their driver’s licenses every year while locals do it every six years. If everyone has to follow the same rules, why then do the same rules not apply to everyone. I assumed that I was going to walk away empty handed and was simply arguing for argument’s sake at this point. I had already decided that if my license expired I would not bother to take the tests all over again. Very few people recognize any rules of the road around here and I have lost interest in bending over backward to do things legally in a country where no one follows the law.

The supervisor asked me if I had a photograph. I did because I was hoping that somehow this would work, and I had to go to the other government office when I was finished with the DMV and give them a photograph so that they could give me a new card eventually. I gave her a photograph and she apologized but said I needed to pay a fee. I was willing to pay a fee. I wanted to renew my license and that always requires paying a fee. I could not believe that I had actually talked her into renewing it without having the new card.

She came back with my new driver’s license and apologized again. I was unsure which part of my argument was making her apologize so often. This is information that might be useful in the future. Especially since I knew that I might have to go through all of it again next year.

When I looked at the license to make sure they had the correct alien resident number (they have been wrong before, and this is inconvenient to correct), I noticed that it expires in six years. I have no idea if this supervisor was authorized to make my one year license last for six years. At this point, I do not care.

A World After It’s All Small

Through no fault of my own, I have been to every Disneyland in the world. I was forced to go to Disney World and Disneyland as a child, though I suppose there are worse crimes against children. I continued going to Disneyland of my own free will as a teenager. Further proof that teenagers have poor judgement skills.

The Wife and I went to Tokyo Disneyland on our first trip to Tokyo together because we had very little time and we simply could not decide between which three of the million things there are to do. We assumed that we would have more time on future trips to Tokyo and would be able to see more of the city then. But on our next trip to Tokyo we went to both Disneyland and DisneySea, mainly because a water Disney sounded like an interesting idea when we first heard about it.

We went to Disneyland Paris for reasons I still do not understand. I can think of better things to do in Paris. But on this trip I spent six hours inside a Louis Vuitton, so clearly there were priority issues.

I first went to Hong Kong Disneyland because I had several hours between checking out of the hotel and the flight, and the park is on the way to the airport. More or less. I do not recall my excuse for subsequent visits to Hong Kong Disneyland.

They are building a new one in Shanghai. There is no way to know whether I will ever go to that one. But it will be interesting to have a Disney park in a totalitarian state where most of the world needs a visa.

Disneyland MTR
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007
Tokyo Disneyland has its own JR station, Disneyland Paris has its own metro station and Hong Kong Disneyland has its own MTR station. Disneyland California would probably have something if public transportation existed in Southern California. But Hong Kong Disneyland goes further than everyone else with their own MTR trains. Rather than get off the dirty public subway onto the Disney station, you have to take a clean Mickey train just to get to the very clean station.

Promenade
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007
Hong Kong has the smallest Disneyland in the world, not for lack of space. The park is surrounded by empty space. From the main entrance you have to walk through an open promenade which could easily house another land just to get to the ticket windows. There are small statues here and there, and in the middle is this fountain.

Aquasphere
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
DisneySea incorporates the finest Disney tradition of making things look nice on the surface and the Japanese tradition of letting far too many people fill a very limited space.

Main Street USA Train Station
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
I read somewhere that Tokyo has the only Disneyland without a train station. I think this is false.

Le gare de Main Street USA
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Main Street Train Station
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2006

Main Street Train Station
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007
Hong Kong’s Main Street is supposed to resemble California’s, but it feels nothing like it. For my money, Tokyo felt more like California than any other.

Sleeping Beauty Castle, Fantasyland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

Le Château de la Belle au Bois Dormant, Fantasyland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Sleeping Beauty Castle, Fantasyland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
from DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Mt Prometheus, Mysterious Island
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
Either I planned the last two shots five years apart when I knew almost nothing about DisneySea or it is a coincidence. Or Haneda Airport is just across the bay.

Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

World Bazaar
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
The biggest difference between Tokyo and California, besides the Haunted Mansion, is World Bazaar/Main Street USA. Tokyo’s Main Street USA is called World Bazaar even though it is pretty much just like other parks’ Main Street USA. The only real difference is that the front entrance is covered, probably because Tokyo gets more snow than Orlando and Anaheim. The shops are still turn of the previous century Main Street (USA). It opens up to an uncovered town square that leads to the other lands and the castle just like every other park.

World Bazaar
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

Main Street USA
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006
Paris’ Main Street USA has no Tokyo covered entrance, but the side streets that lead to other lands are covered.

Main Street USA
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

World Bazaar
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
Tokyo Disneyland on a slow day.

Main Street USA
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007
No other street in Hong Kong is this clean, empty and open. But the people walking in the middle of the road and the car driving in the center are accurate.

Mediterranean Harbor
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
DisneySea’s version of Main Street USA, probably called Mediterranean Harbor instead of Main Street USA because it looks more like a Disney version of a Venetian Renaissance harbor than a 20th century street in downtown Happyville, Missouri.

Mediterranean Harbor
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

New Orleans Square, Adventureland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
Anyone who knows Disneyland California will know where this is.

Tokyo looks very much like California except for the corporate sponsorship. Disneyland probably has sponsors now, but that is not how I remember it (outside of Tomorrowland). And their sponsors probably do not include Japanese beer and Japanese department stores.

California and Tokyo are the only parks to have New Orleans Square, Mickey’s Toontown and Critter Country.

Phantom Manor, Frontierland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006
Phantom Manor is very different from other Haunted Mansions. It has its own story and characters. The outside looks like it should be a condemned building. The garden and surrounding grounds are dead. The inside is less child-friendly. The Paris ghosts are not so happy go lucky. California is Casper, Paris is Poltergeist.

Haunted Mansion, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
The biggest difference between Tokyo and California, besides World Bazaar/Main Street USA, is the Haunted Mansion. The Tokyo version copies the Florida version and looks nothing like the California version.

New York Harbor, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
They obviously put a great deal of thought into the park’s appearance. This is good if you like fake architecture, but not so good if you want to go on rides.

New York Harbor, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Cape Cod, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
People waiting in line for an hour to get popcorn. This is not a joke. In the time it took me to climb the lighthouse that you are not supposed to climb (the sign should be in English as well as Japanese), these people got a small bag of popcorn.

American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
The unusual thing about American Waterfront is that it actually is on the water. Port Discovery and American Waterfront border Tokyo Bay. The rocks and trees are imported and artificial, but the water is straight from the Pacific Ocean.

La Plage des Pirates, Adventureland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Adventureland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007
Adventureland became Pirateland during the summer of 2007. They were obviously whoring one of those Johnny Depp movies.

La Plage des Pirates, Adventureland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Jungle Cruise, Adventureland
Disneyland
Anaheim, California circa 1978

Jungle Cruise, Adventureland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007
Hong Kong’s Jungle Cruise is set in an Asian river delta rather than African, which seems far less exotic when you are actually in Asia. But they still have African elephants, gorillas, rhinoceros and other African animals.

Port Discovery
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Westernland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
Tokyo’s Frontierland is called Westernland because apparently there is no word for frontier in Japanese. Whereas the Japanese know all about adventure, tomorrow, fantasy and cartoons with gigantic eyes.

Mark Twain Riverboat, Frontierland
Disneyland
Anaheim, California 1989

Arabian Coast
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Japanese rat worship
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005
I hate parades. I hate Disneyland parades even more. But this was the Wife’s first Disneyland and Disney parade and she wanted to watch it. She was not the wife at the time, so I caved in. The things I do for the ladies.

Mysterious Island
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
Mysterious Island is shopping and food. There are two rides. But you have to walk through air conditioned caves to get to it. It seems to be based on Paris’ Discoveryland.

Fantasyland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Fantasyland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2006

Les Pirouettes du Vieux Moulin, Fantasyland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006
The ride was closed several years ago, but they have yet to tear it down, transform or replace it.

Tomorrowland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Tomorrowland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
The most obvious difference between Tokyo and Hong Kong, beside signs in Japanese and Chinese, is that Tokyo is filled to the rim every day while Hong Kong is as empty as a Mormon’s cup.

Tomorrowland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

The 2nd version of the main entrance sign
Disneyland
Anaheim, California circa 1978

Number 3 or 4
Disneyland
Anaheim, California 1989

Le plus heureux des sorties sur de la Terre
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

SS Columbia, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010
The SS Columbia houses shopping, an interactive aquarium and restaurants. One of the restaurants is supposed to be a cruise ship dining room. The other is the Teddy Roosevelt Lounge, which specializes in sandwiches because when you think of Roosevelt, you think of sandwiches. The aquarium does not have animals from the bay or animals from anywhere else. It is interactive because you can talk to the cartoon sea turtle on the monitor that is supposed to be a tank, and it will talk back.